Tuesday, March 04, 2003
I've been thinking about our culture's burgeoning obsession with the penis. It's rather difficult not to, since I get a pile of penis-related spam every day (and having four active e-mail accounts, well, that adds up to a lot of penis spam). I've received thirty such solicitations at Desvernine@aol.com in the past week alone. A few address the issue of male impotence, but most of them are concerned with drugs (usually Viagra) and exercises which will, supposedly, increase the size of a man's penis. I'm not exactly sure why. I don't know many women who think bigger is better. I sure don't. I think it's something that's spread from the gay male subculture to mainstream culture. At any rate, it's a fairly monotonous lot of spam. I was amused yesterday, though, at one such advert with the intriguingly cryptic subject line, "accesxory phoaodiode." I had to look, even though I suspected what was waiting for me. With a come-on like that, how could I do otherwise? "Strengthen and harden your erection like a length of steel pipe," it promised. "Develop your PC muscle to form a truly muscular-looking penis that will impress and arouse your lover. I guarantee they'll brag to their friends"
I think I'll take this as proof positive that I really don't don't live in the same world as most people. I'd rather not consider a gaggle of women bragging to one another about their man's steel-pipe erection. It's just too icky.
Don't think I have anything against penises. No, they're fine things (though they'd be significantly more practical and attractive if they were retractable). Within reason. I'm not so sure that 7"-8" is within reason. Way too much of a good thing. I know that excess is in these days, but there are certain considerations of the female anatomy that should be entertained. Unless one has no intent of employing one's penis in male-female intercourse.
I started wondering, what would the world be like if it suffered from a collective vulvic fixation, rather than a phallic one? Instead of skyscrapers, might our cities consist of fantastic inverted architectures? Certainly they would pose no greater engineering difficulties than skyscrapers did (and do). It would all be about a race to have the deepest, not the tallest. It's a neat idea. But it's my idea and if you steal it, I'll sue.
Yesterday, Spooky and I spent over four hours editing the LRM ms. and there's still a lot to do. So I cancelled my plans to be out of town today. With any luck I can be mostly done by this evening. With any luck. Inevitably, I underestimate the time that will be required for a revision job. Almost every frelling time. We discovered eleven separate instances where, in the book, I'd used the phrase "long, long." Oh, and "long hall" or "long hallway." That's pretty damn vulvic, which is appropriate for this novel. Now that I think about it, my fiction's pretty damned vulvic, all in all. Jennifer's almost finished with her proofreading, then I'll have that set of notes, as well.
After a brief respite, the eBay auction is on again. Lots of stuff. Lots of stuff you can't live without. It's not stuff that'll give you a deeper vagina or a harder clit, but it's still pretty cool stuff.
Buy Me!!!!
Yesterday, Spooky and I picked up a copy of Nick Cave's latest, Nocturama. I've only had time to listen to it once, but it's good. More robust than his last album or two, I think.
When my eyes started bleeding too much to work on the ms. any longer, we watched "A Clockwork Nebari" and "Die Me, Dichotomy" from the Farscape Volume 5, Season 2 DVD, because everyone knows that television screens are much easier on your eyes than a computer monitor.
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