Monday, February 10, 2003
Let's add two additional deadly sins — Despair and Failure. Along with Insincerity, they may be the worst of the bunch, the author's ultimate undoing.
So, we lucky whores, authors get Nine Deady Sins. There are those who might foolishly argue with me that Failure cannot be a sin, that it is, instead, the product of innocent, though unfortunate, happenstance. But I know better. If we allow Failure to reside in our consciousnesses as a mere possibility, one that may befall us regardless of our actions, we risk making it more likely. If we fail, after all, we might say, we're not necessarily at fault. A failure may follow from injustice, from idiotic critics or editors, agents or readers. A failure may be entirely a matter of bad luck. Failure becomes mere misfortune, a cause for pity. But if we see it for what it truly is, one of the Nine, we must assume responsibility for that possibility, which may only befall us through our own shortcomings. And we may not fail. Ever.
My head's somewhere awfully Old Testament these days. Maybe it's the oily smell of war in the air, or Bush's glib determination, or spyware, or the Office of Homeland Security. Maybe it's all of those things and a thousand more. Time feels short, shorter than it did only a couple of years ago.
"The Rose Garden" has been reshelved. I spent yesterday busying myself with things that had little to do with writing. I hung two pictures in my office. I'm not sure if it was Sloth or Despair, or both. Today was a little better, a viler but more productive day. I put together a rough draft of the ms. for the next short story collection and e-mailed it to Bill Schafer and Richard Kirk. At the moment it's 15 stories, about 95,000 words in length. There will probably be another story or two before I'm done. I need a new title, too. It was to have been Worse Things Yet, a title I came up with back in 2000 or so. But then Poppy and I did Wrong Things and Worse Things Yet would sound too much like a sequel, which it isn't. I exchanged e-mail with my editor at Roc.
In the interest of making room in a closet, currently filled with extra copies of my books, Kathryn and Jennifer have begun a big eBay sale. New stuff will be going up every day. Spend your money. Buy my shit. I'll write anything on it you want me to. Anything at all. Really. The auction's at:
Stuff by Me
Last night, Kathryn and I watched Wicked City and Fallen. Cool monsters in Wicked City, but I'd forgotten how unintentionally funny the dialogue is and that the animation is pretty terrible. I was pleasantly surprised by Fallen, which I'd somehow missed at the theater.
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